Ever since that night in 2002, the song "The Boxer" has been almost holy to me, in a way I can't describe. The groundswell of music at the end of the song, past all the "ly-la-ly" parts, is almost like God coming to say, "Yeah, I'm here with you, no matter how beaten or broken you are. I'm here. We're in this together."
My life has been overwhelming lately, as I've shared before. I've felt a little bit beaten. And then, today, as I was driving home from Louisville after yet another visit with the veterinary specialist, "The Boxer" came on my iPod. I turned it up as high as I could stand it and let the tears fill my eyes.
In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his tradeAnd that's what I heard this morning, as the final "ly-la-ly-ly-ly-la-ly, ly-la-ly-ly-ly" faded.
And he carries the reminder of every glove that laid him down
Or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving" but the fighter still remains
The fighter still remains.
I'm not going to give in and get all "woe is me" about this shit. By God, I'm fighting back. I'm going to get back into a routine of exercise that makes me feel good without punishing my body. I've already gone to the doctor to adjust my medication for the anxiety that has plagued me recently. I'm going to enjoy every single minute of my life instead of being overtaken with worry and fear.
I may be the most conflict-averse person on planet Earth, but I'm willing to go to the mat for this one.
What are you fighting today?